WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “a great idea I just had,” Melania Trump said on Wednesday morning that she would deliver her Republican National Convention speech from an empty classroom at Trump University.
Trump said that, to set the stage for her speech, she would stroll down the hallway of the now shuttered educational institution before settling in at a desk in one of its many disused classrooms.
She indicated that she would use the intimate setting to talk about the many personal challenges that her husband, Donald J. Trump, has faced in his life.
“There was that very sad day when he found out that he had bone spurs and could not serve in Vietnam,” she said. “But he somehow stood tall and went on to inherit hundreds of millions of dollars from his father.”
Trump added that, if her husband is reëlected, she hopes that the halls of Trump University “will be full once again with the happy pitter-patter of students hoping to make fortunes in real estate.”
“That be best,” she said.